Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Mama no big.

The other day Ben and I were playing in the kitchen when he sat down on the windowsill.  He patted the empty space next to him, instructing me (as he does about a hundred times a day) to "seat mama, seat seat!" I told him, "sorry buddy, mama's too big to sit there."  He scrunched his nose, shook his head and said very matter-of-factly, "Mama no big."   Is he too young to earn brownie points? - because I'm pretty sure someone is learning how to butter Mama up!  (Side note:  Does it humor anyone else that my response to this includes both the words "brownie" and "butter?"  I'm sensing a theme here...)

I suppose it is true, relatively speaking at least.  Mama has been bigger before.  At my peak weight during pregnancy, I weighed more than my husband ever has.  (Yikes!)  So as I've considered Ben's observation over the last few days, it has both humored and inspired me.  Not to lose weight, since hopefully (God willing) it won't be too terribly long before Mama is big again, but rather, the reminder has inspired me to enjoy all that life has to offer during this time while "Mama no big."  Here are a few of the things that I am currently enjoying, and will desperately miss when I am, well, BIG again:

Caffeine.  It is completely unfair that during the time when a woman's whole body can become exhausted just by brushing her teeth in the morning, she has to limit her caffeine intake.  If you ask me, this is like telling a marathon runner that one sip of water is ok, but after that they should try fruit juice, or maybe milk for the rest of their run.  Who wants to drink milk when you're drenched in sweat, there's no finish line in sight, and your feet are such a foreign concept to you that you're not sure they're even still attached?  (Am I talking about the runners, or the preggos here?  Not really sure.)  The point is, people need the appropriate beverage when participating in exhausting activities.  Marathon runners need water.  Mothers - especially pregnant ones - need caffeine.  Totally.  Un.  Fair.

Speaking of feet, (I was at some point, wasn't I?), I quite enjoy mine.  Hot pink toenails, my lovely tattoos, and a pair of cute Payless sandals (who can say "no" to BOGO?) and I'm one happy girl.  So while Mama no big, let me tell ya, I'm gonna enjoy my feet.  I'm gonna dance.  I'm gonna run.  I'm gonna wear every pair of shoes in my closet while they still fit, and I'm gonna look at 'em.  That's right, I'm just gonna stare.  Because I know someday, when Mama big, those feet are gonna disappear before my very eyes.  I will not take my toes for granted!

La La La La La ~ Sing, Mama!  Did you know that being big can make you mute??  Ok, not mute, but to a singer you might as well be!  When a small person takes up residence in your abdomen, other things get squished in there, making simple things like breathing annoyingly difficult.  I'm gonna sing it loud and sing it proud... Can someone write me a "Mama no big" anthem?

Driving.  Not that it can't be done, but it is thoroughly unenjoyable when Mama big.  Because you see, even when Mama no big, Mama short.  Mama sit close to steering wheel.  When Mama big, Mama belly honk horn, and Mama huge boobs push seat belt up to Mama neck and choke Mama.  Big Mama don't like to drive.

Sleep.  Although I can't say the sleep habits are great when living with a two year-old, it is certainly better than when living with a newborn.  And I'm guessing that when you have a second child, there's no such thing as a mother/baby naptime anymore.  'Cause you know, there's still that other kid.  He's gonna need food, water, attention... all that annoying stuff.  So while I can - while Mama no big - I think it's a good solid plan to also say "Mama no awake."  Seriously.  Right now.  I'm out.



  1. Love love love it. Especially the driving part... literally laughed out loud.